If you want to make it in the options game, stay as ignorant about options as humanly possible via /r/wallstreetbets #stocks #wallstreetbets #investing

After being a member here for a few years for the great memes, I decided to add options to my brokerage account in mid August.

Like many here, I only knew that calls meant "up" and puts meant "down" when I answered "2-4 years options trading experience" with my broker.

Also like many here, I came out of the gate hot – not every trade was a winner, but most were, and I found myself up about $7.5k on a $10,000 initial deposit after my first two weeks. At that point I made the only smart move of my brief trading career and withdrew the initial $10,000 so I was only playing with profits.

Alas, the good times wouldn't last because I followed closely with my with first major mistake. I learned about options. I learned the greeks. I took time to understand what volatility was doing to my options. I learned about multi leg options strategies. And as if all of this wasn't bad enough, I decided to make the mistake fatal and learn about fundamentals.

Trading this market using logic and fundamentals will infect you with a terminal disease that I call Gay Bearitis. I caught a nasty case of it, and today finally finished me off.

To new wsb autists coming in fresh, here is my advice to you:

If you are in danger of learning something about options or the market, close your browser tab immediately and burn the device you were using as a precaution against further learning.

A winning strategy is dead simple:

1. Find the top 3 options spammed in the daily thread morning to night
2. Dump 33% of your account into each
3. Watch 2 of them melt to oblivion while the third becomes a 3-5 bagger

tldr; Learning anything about the market will absolutely wreck your game. Just don't do it.

positions; None because I'm a gay bear that blew up his gambling account