Another day as a proud ape (why don’t I have shitpost as a flair)
I wake up, and eagerly check my phone to see if the MOASS has finally happened.
My account value is down 10%, but I reassure myself that this is due to short ladder attacks and that the market will correct itself accordingly.
Today was payday! And it is the perfect time to buy the dip. Considering I already have 4 shares, I decide I’ll try my luck with options.
I find the best option I can afford. The strike is double what the share price is, and it expires in two weeks, but the hedgies have been backed into a corner and the squeeze is upon us.
With $550 in my a bank account, I can easily afford the $500 option. After all, when else would you get a chance to turn $500 into $246 million.
The theta is high and the delta is low, but I’m well aware that this is just another one of the hedgies tricks.
Although I have no idea what either of those terms mean, I saw some excellent dd that they’re both being manipulated by dark pools. Clearly they’re getting desperate.
As I put on my Wendy’s uniform, I decide to open Reddit and check the 3 different subReddit’s created specifically for my stock.
Great news, 6 different posts explaining how inflation, the Chinese market crash, the COVID recovery, and even the banana prices in Brazil all confirm that the MOASS is coming.
I comment “hedgies are fuk 💎🤲” and upvote them all. I check r/all to see how many of our post made it to the front page. While there, I comment “apes together strong” on 4 completely unrelated post. I become top comment on all of them.
When I arrive at work, I crack a joke about my wife’s boyfriend. They sigh and ask if I’m going to talk about that stock again for the fifth straight month. I can tell they don’t take me seriously, but once I explain the warren buffet video I watched last night, they’ll understand I’m for real.
I remind them again that when I show up in a Tesla, it’s not because I couldn’t afford a lambo, but because I respect my fellow apes.
I cherish my final days here, as it will be good perspective once I’m a millionaire.
All in good fun. Good luck to everyone I hope we all see green 🙂
Submitted September 15, 2021 at 08:15AM by Hoplite0728
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